My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
