Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
