i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
