what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
