yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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