Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just sucked dick on a ferry
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
