Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
