I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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