we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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