Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
