I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
