just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
only if we run a train.
done.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
