I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
