Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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