We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
