He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
