Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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