I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
