i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
