mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize