And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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