I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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