...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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