I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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