Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
