He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
