you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
