I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
