Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
