Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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