I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
