Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
