What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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