Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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