I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
