I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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