So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just want nice things and good sex
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
