In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
