I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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