had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
