I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
