You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my liver is dry heaving
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
