i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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