so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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