Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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