He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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