we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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