Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
