apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
