Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
