Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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