come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
