they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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