Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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